How Lucky Are We Who Know Our Life's Work?

George and I had dinner with an old friend of mine from highschool and her fairly new husband last weekend. Among the topics of conversation was the typical "catching up" that we always do- who have we talked to? what good things have happened? what struggles are we muddling through? how crazy are our mothers?- stuff that would be gossip if it wasn't about ourselves. Then my dear friend (who has never been much of a technophile and who I was sure had fallen off the face of the Earth because I hadn't heard from her in almost a year) and her husband announced that they didn't see a need to have Facebook accounts because 1) they didn't really want to talk to anyone except for who they already made the effort to keep in touch with and 2) they didn't want their affairs to be public knowledge. I was about to open my mouth in defense of my beloved FB when my husband, who happens to be a very private person who had the misfortune of marrying a heart-on-sleeve-wearing-open-book (me), chimed in on their "side." I had the immediate feeling of shame that I imagine works in gangs, cliques, and other small groups: I believed differently, so something must have been wrong with me (not to mention that it takes a lot of courage to be a lone voice against a majority that is loudly opinionated). I quickly decided that pursuing this topic of discussion would've been fruitless and needlessly uncomfortable, so I let it pass. (This behavior is new...I think it has something to do with being in my 30s. Prior to this, I probably would've opened my mouth before thinking. Amazing!)

Here I am, a week later, still pondering the merit of valuing one's privacy. I certainly appreciate my friend's stance, and I have lived the last 11 years finding a way to live with my husband's insistence that the happenings of our lives should not become news feed for the masses. Despite this, I am often excruciatingly public when it comes to myself and my life. I have a few theories as to why (including that I have parents who have no concept of their daughters' personal boundaries, so it wasn't until I was an adult that I learned it's healthy to have lines that should never be crossed), but the one I think is most true is that I see myself as one who teaches others. Not just during my day job....but always, all the time, and about all sorts of things.

Some people believe their lives have a purpose, and I believe that mine is to teach people. That is why everything about me, from my neverending battle with depression to my trials as mother to a maniacally brilliant boy, is something I might share with others. This is not to say that I share EVERYTHING, because I most certainly do not (to my husband's relief!). It's just that I have observed that I'm willing to share more than others, more of the time. It's not even that I feel that what I have to share is better than what anyone else has....it's that I recognize that I learn the most important life lessons from other people, and I think that it's only fair that I am willing to help others learn. At the very least, I take comfort in knowing that I'm aware of my purpose and embracing it.