Dear 2012...

Dear 2012,

So far, you haven't proven to be much different from 2011, which is most definitely NOT a bad thing. Wonderful things happened to me in 2011, like the attainment of a Masters degree (finally!) and the miracle of my house amid all the heartbreaking foreclosures. (After a year of not making mortgage payments and having resigned ourselves to a lifetime of bad credit and renting, the mortgage company, who must have received a direct order from God, himself, decided to modify our loan and make the payments affordable again.) Last year also presented new discoveries, like Spark energy drink, which makes me considerably more productive than I am without it and doesn't cause me to crash and burn like other energy drinks; and Pinterest, which inspires me to read and learn about more than I ever thought I wanted to read and learn! Given my life's history, I am grateful for what some would say is boring, consistent, predictable stability; thus I am pleased with your choice to mimic 2011 (yes, even the few terrible things that happened, because they were learning moments). I am hoping that you continue to bless me with monotony as you unfold.

There is one way in which you have begun to stand out. I find myself reflecting again, and not in the negative way that my depression normally commands. I'm experiencing an unusual, but amazing, abundance of clarity. Have you ever experienced a moment of clarity so striking that it pierces your thoughts and redirects your life's path? I think we all do, but sometimes they are not as obvious as lightning strikes. I have been lucky to have so many that I recognize, like the instant so long ago when I looked into George's eyes and saw that he would achieve every one of his goals (and I am so proud to report that he has!), so I wasn't afraid to embark on the adventure that is marriage with him. I spent a summer working with rising 5th graders that caused me to change my college major from secondary to elementary education, and the effect was life-altering, leading up to my teaching third grade (something I once passionately argued that I would NEVER do). After spending two years working as a teacher half-time, I realized that my place is as a full-time teacher...and though my initial concern was that it would mean precious time away from my child, I think being a full-time teacher (which really means being a teacher 24/7, whether I want to be or not) actually makes me a better mother, not to mention a person better able to contribute positively to the world.

I hope to continue to think clearly (as opposed to having to deal with the fogginess in my head...another gift of depression), especially because there is so much to consider, and there are so many connections to discover. Already I am seeing that no matter what you have planned for December (part of me, perhaps the Filipino Catholic, doesn't want to discount the mysticism of the Mayan calendar, so I'm inclined to believe that there is a chance the world will end...), you are truly a year for recognizing multiple perspectives. I want to see, hear, and understand as much as possible!

Thanks for reading, and thank you in advance for turning my wishes into my reality.
Warmest regards,
Dar