Stop Thinking, Start Feeling: Take Your Hurts to Your Heart - Beyond Blue:
'via Blog this'
This is one of the best things I have ever read in regards to how to handle emotions!
27 May 2012
A Wary Hello
At the end of every school year (and sometimes, at the beginning of breaks throughout the school year), I sit around for a couple of days like a zombie, unsure of what to do with myself. Whether I like it or not, my life is fairly busy between the end of July and the end of June (yes, that's right, I really only have the beginning/middle of July as a true Summer break, which means I am not one of those teachers....though honestly, I don't know many of those teachers...who gets summers off!), and once the momentum that keeps me going is gone, I'm a bit lost. And when I am lost, I end up staring in the face of my always-with-me-but-not-always-so-visible companion, D.D. (Depressed Dar). After so many years of knowing D.D., I know better than to fight. I sleep more. I spend more time distracting myself with mindless activity. I avoid social situations that cause me anxiety, as well as anything else that might raise my blood pressure. I try to keep myself content. I hope and I pray that D.D.'s appearance is temporary, and that if I am patient, she will go away on a very extended trip once again.
15 January 2012
Dear 2012...
Dear 2012,
So far, you haven't proven to be much different from 2011, which is most definitely NOT a bad thing. Wonderful things happened to me in 2011, like the attainment of a Masters degree (finally!) and the miracle of my house amid all the heartbreaking foreclosures. (After a year of not making mortgage payments and having resigned ourselves to a lifetime of bad credit and renting, the mortgage company, who must have received a direct order from God, himself, decided to modify our loan and make the payments affordable again.) Last year also presented new discoveries, like Spark energy drink, which makes me considerably more productive than I am without it and doesn't cause me to crash and burn like other energy drinks; and Pinterest, which inspires me to read and learn about more than I ever thought I wanted to read and learn! Given my life's history, I am grateful for what some would say is boring, consistent, predictable stability; thus I am pleased with your choice to mimic 2011 (yes, even the few terrible things that happened, because they were learning moments). I am hoping that you continue to bless me with monotony as you unfold.
There is one way in which you have begun to stand out. I find myself reflecting again, and not in the negative way that my depression normally commands. I'm experiencing an unusual, but amazing, abundance of clarity. Have you ever experienced a moment of clarity so striking that it pierces your thoughts and redirects your life's path? I think we all do, but sometimes they are not as obvious as lightning strikes. I have been lucky to have so many that I recognize, like the instant so long ago when I looked into George's eyes and saw that he would achieve every one of his goals (and I am so proud to report that he has!), so I wasn't afraid to embark on the adventure that is marriage with him. I spent a summer working with rising 5th graders that caused me to change my college major from secondary to elementary education, and the effect was life-altering, leading up to my teaching third grade (something I once passionately argued that I would NEVER do). After spending two years working as a teacher half-time, I realized that my place is as a full-time teacher...and though my initial concern was that it would mean precious time away from my child, I think being a full-time teacher (which really means being a teacher 24/7, whether I want to be or not) actually makes me a better mother, not to mention a person better able to contribute positively to the world.
I hope to continue to think clearly (as opposed to having to deal with the fogginess in my head...another gift of depression), especially because there is so much to consider, and there are so many connections to discover. Already I am seeing that no matter what you have planned for December (part of me, perhaps the Filipino Catholic, doesn't want to discount the mysticism of the Mayan calendar, so I'm inclined to believe that there is a chance the world will end...), you are truly a year for recognizing multiple perspectives. I want to see, hear, and understand as much as possible!
Thanks for reading, and thank you in advance for turning my wishes into my reality.
Warmest regards,
Dar
So far, you haven't proven to be much different from 2011, which is most definitely NOT a bad thing. Wonderful things happened to me in 2011, like the attainment of a Masters degree (finally!) and the miracle of my house amid all the heartbreaking foreclosures. (After a year of not making mortgage payments and having resigned ourselves to a lifetime of bad credit and renting, the mortgage company, who must have received a direct order from God, himself, decided to modify our loan and make the payments affordable again.) Last year also presented new discoveries, like Spark energy drink, which makes me considerably more productive than I am without it and doesn't cause me to crash and burn like other energy drinks; and Pinterest, which inspires me to read and learn about more than I ever thought I wanted to read and learn! Given my life's history, I am grateful for what some would say is boring, consistent, predictable stability; thus I am pleased with your choice to mimic 2011 (yes, even the few terrible things that happened, because they were learning moments). I am hoping that you continue to bless me with monotony as you unfold.
There is one way in which you have begun to stand out. I find myself reflecting again, and not in the negative way that my depression normally commands. I'm experiencing an unusual, but amazing, abundance of clarity. Have you ever experienced a moment of clarity so striking that it pierces your thoughts and redirects your life's path? I think we all do, but sometimes they are not as obvious as lightning strikes. I have been lucky to have so many that I recognize, like the instant so long ago when I looked into George's eyes and saw that he would achieve every one of his goals (and I am so proud to report that he has!), so I wasn't afraid to embark on the adventure that is marriage with him. I spent a summer working with rising 5th graders that caused me to change my college major from secondary to elementary education, and the effect was life-altering, leading up to my teaching third grade (something I once passionately argued that I would NEVER do). After spending two years working as a teacher half-time, I realized that my place is as a full-time teacher...and though my initial concern was that it would mean precious time away from my child, I think being a full-time teacher (which really means being a teacher 24/7, whether I want to be or not) actually makes me a better mother, not to mention a person better able to contribute positively to the world.
I hope to continue to think clearly (as opposed to having to deal with the fogginess in my head...another gift of depression), especially because there is so much to consider, and there are so many connections to discover. Already I am seeing that no matter what you have planned for December (part of me, perhaps the Filipino Catholic, doesn't want to discount the mysticism of the Mayan calendar, so I'm inclined to believe that there is a chance the world will end...), you are truly a year for recognizing multiple perspectives. I want to see, hear, and understand as much as possible!
Thanks for reading, and thank you in advance for turning my wishes into my reality.
Warmest regards,
Dar
San Diego County with 2.5 year old guide!
Found this in my Drafts Folder. Not sure why I never posted...
*******Once upon a time, a lovely little family of three went to San Diego County for a week (because apparently, they learned nothing from the week-long excursion to Orlando over Fall Break). This is the story of that journey, told through the eyes of the 2.5 year old, who happened to decide where, when, and how long we stayed anywhere. So in other words, he was the boss.*********
After an incredibly long time in my car seat, we got to this place called Welk Resort San Diego. I giggled with glee as I ran circles around the front lobby (to exercise my leg muscles, of course). One of the ladies in the lobby told my mama not to worry because all kiddies my age do the exact same thing! We got there on Saturday evening, so Daddy and Mama ordered pizza for dinner and we just hung out. I loved the room because it had lots of hiding places (closets, a bathtub, a separate shower, a balcony, etc.) and room to run around. Mama said it was as big as the apartment she and Daddy lived in before they moved to my house! The next day we went to the grocery store, and then we went to Oceanside Harbor with our friends, the Jarvis family. Right next to the harbor was an awesome playground on the beach!
The next day we went to Legoland. Hooray! I love this place! We came here last year, but I don't remember it being so much fun. Mama says we will try to come back every summer, so next year I bet I'll go on more rides and stuff.
After an incredibly long time in my car seat, we got to this place called Welk Resort San Diego. I giggled with glee as I ran circles around the front lobby (to exercise my leg muscles, of course). One of the ladies in the lobby told my mama not to worry because all kiddies my age do the exact same thing! We got there on Saturday evening, so Daddy and Mama ordered pizza for dinner and we just hung out. I loved the room because it had lots of hiding places (closets, a bathtub, a separate shower, a balcony, etc.) and room to run around. Mama said it was as big as the apartment she and Daddy lived in before they moved to my house! The next day we went to the grocery store, and then we went to Oceanside Harbor with our friends, the Jarvis family. Right next to the harbor was an awesome playground on the beach!
Here's a picture of me on my Daddy's shoulders (one of my favorite places to be!) and the littlest Jarvis, who happens to be a few months younger than me, on her daddy's shoulders. I'm usually nervous about little kids, but I liked her because she was spunky and she chased me around a lot. I love to be chased! Daddy and and her daddy joked about chicken fighting, but that was silly because she and I aren't chickens! We're 2 year olds!!
The next day we went to Legoland. Hooray! I love this place! We came here last year, but I don't remember it being so much fun. Mama says we will try to come back every summer, so next year I bet I'll go on more rides and stuff.
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